what they Say about rectifying your mistakes?
Arnav Singh Raizada was just about ready to take that chance!
unaware of the fact that meanwhile, at the same time somebody else was strengthening its resolve too!
His lips were set in a thin line, fingers continuously drumming the steering wheel of his SUV, one hand raking through his hair, forehead marred with the frown lines and that jawline was set in a hard tough edge clearly displaying his unease about something that was bugging him persistently.
Above were the clear signs of the fact that the last 1-2 hours did not go as per he had planned.
yes, he wanted to confront her, to apologize her for his deed, to make a fresh start that would probably make things easier for both of them in future and since this time he was adamant on doing all that, it irked him highly when he did not get a chance for his persuasions.
Slightly rubbing his temples, he recalled the way khushi behaved with him today, after that eye locking session of theirs, that had him still in grip. Certainly, he felt the connection that was there that had pulled both of them the instant they laid their eyes upon each other.. it felt like it was just the two of them that matters and the world had ceased to exist. He couldnt remember it was exactly how many minutes or what, but it certainly felt like eternity..he couldnt recall for how long they stood like that, frozen in their place, speechless, unaware of space n time and then the next moment it.was.gone!
Arnav Singh Raizada was acutely aware of her each and every actions today. Numerous times, he felt her gaze upon himself and when he looked her way, it was only to found her darting her gaze away instantly. How expertly she avoided looking at him directly as much as she could,how she had excused herself and escaped from the kitchen when he went there with hope of some talking..How they had exchange only a mere dozen words today which he could count on his finger tips. Not that he was expecting something better from this already messy situation when he had stepped in, as he had already prepared himself mentally, but what surprised him was that it still irked him to a much higher level raising his restlessness n frustration that was buried until now.
He released a heavy breath n looked out of the car’s window, khushi was still busy in hugging her buaji n babuji, alongside giving them ultimatums on how they both have to take care of their meals and medicines on their own now, no more unhealthy diets for them and that she’ll call them daily. He softened a bit when he saw how her babuji was blinking his lashes and fighting his tears back, putting on a brave front in front of her, showing his daughter that he’s still a strong man, making light of the situation by telling her that he’s still young at heart and can take care of his health completely..while on the contrary his eyes shows a mixture of emotions,happy and sad..the happy part, he could connect to it now.
She dumped her luggage in the back seat of the car, opening the door of the passenger seat she took her seat..fastening her seat belt,she turned back again and waved them goodbyes till the car pulled up and they made their way to their home.
He looked at her from the corner of his eyes, highly aware of her presence along with the tension that was now increasing with each passing second. The urge to confront her by hook or by crook,even though forcefully was raising gradually. He tilted his head determinedly this time to have a good look at her, she was staring out of the car’s window, obviously more interested in the greenery of the city and seemingly unaware of the growing fury inside him. What made him mad about the situation was when he noticed how she was sitting practically clinging to the passenger door, as if creating more space between them..as if she now loathed sharing space with him. That goes without saying, that just acted as a catalyst in his already fowl mood.
Turning his attention back to the road, he raked his fingers through his hairs in irritation..obviously not happy that way it was going. It wasnt everyday when the great Raizada came across such situations. He never ever had to fight for somebody’s attention till date, specifically not women..they just fell on his feet by some invisible rule in his dictionary..but this woman..
He thump on the steering wheel in irritation, cursing at the car ahead that was blocking his way, continuously blowing the horn, more as a way of venting his anger somewhere else. He closed his eyes momentarily when he saw her flinching in her seat..and released a very deep breath..Raizada, you are making it worse!
He mentally kicked himself for behaving like a complete lunatic.
Shit..raizada get a grip!
He let few minutes passed between them..meanwhile calming his mind n gathering his thoughts. Finally making up his mind to give it a shot, he exhaled a heavy breath n sighed, took a right turn and looked ahead once at the road with light traffic, he turned towards her
He found a ray of hope when she slowly turned her head, darting her gaze away from the outside scenery and took few moments,slowly dragging her gaze to finally meet him in the eye. He searched her face for any signs of her mood or what she was thinking internally but failed completely..for what he got was a mask hiding all what was going on inside that head of hers..His brows furrowed slightly at that, mentally arguing at her weird behavior that was becoming intolerable for him..the way she reacted, the way she avoided him, the way she was sitting here now as if its suffocating for her and the way she’s showing her obvious disinterest and indifferent. All in all the khushi he saw today was completely different one..and that was not at all in a good way. It was as if something even his mind had never imagined till now..what changed her so much?
Putting a halt on his wavering thoughts that was just confusing him more and more, he brushed them all aside and decided on focusing on the matter at hand.
He had just started saying something when the moment got intervened by the shrill ringtone of his smartphone..he closed his eyes in fury,his fist punching into the steering wheel, clearly showing his displeasure about being interrupted. He took out his phone and practically yelled at the person on the other side of the phone.
Khushi released the breath that she was holding up unknowingly till now while she was waiting for him to continue with whatever was on his mind. She slowly realized her tight grip on her suit that she had bunched up in nervous tension, blood slowly start flowing n the knuckles that were complete white,were now changing it color. It was obviously one hell of a tougher task than she had thought. Feigning ignorance n indifference to someone who obviously affects you a lot is a difficult thing. She relaxed momentarily hearing him still barking on the phone. Yes,she could deal easily with THIS kind of Raizada, not the one that she saw today. A complete out-of-Character Raizada that was. Coming to her home, for the first time ever since their marriage.
of his own will?, a hopeful thought erupted somewhere inside her mind but she cut it off instantly..No, Di must have forced him..she convinced herself. she recalled how she had a hard time controlling her tears when she saw both of them talking, bonding well, laughing at small jokes, he listening intently to her babuji’s stories, telling him about his growing business and stuff..just like a normal father n son in law duo..and she couldnt have missed the proud that was shimmering in her babuji’s eyes listening to Arnav when he was telling about his upcoming business ventures and collections. It might be just nothing to him, cuz obviously being Arnav singh raizada, charming others instantly was a part n parcel of his entire being..it comes all naturally to him but for her it was something she had wished many times..it was something she silently thanked him for too many times today. Then there were times today, when he caught her staring at him, for which she cursed herself mentally. Times, when he deliberately tried involving her in a conversation, times when he came in the kitchen..obviously looking for her. Her gut feeling was constantly alerting herself of what was about to come..she knew it..women’s sixth sense they say..and all those times she kept pushing that situation further..escaping..ignoring.
She knew he wanted to apologize, for that night and that he will eventually when his patience will vane away completely. Being his wife from past few months she was also aware that it was something he wasnt comfortable with at all. Asking for apology was the only field in which ASR was highly inexperienced. .she saw him many times deep in thoughts today as if debating his actions to himself, as if making up his mind, as if weighing the pros n cons of it..and if he’s really doing it..then it surely matters a lot..but in spite of all this she was dreading to face that moment,..She knew he will pop it out sooner or later but she was just not ready for that. Not that she was holding any grudges against him..NO definitely not..she couldnt judge him on the basis of whatever he had said that night..cuz afterall somewhere it was true. He dint offered her anything more, it was her heart that had behaved erratically. It was she who for a moment forget their purpose of being in this marriage..it was her highly imaginative mind that had started building castles without any positive signs from his side. No she couldnt blame him..she was being practical now, but still she would be lying it she’ll say that it did not hurt..cuz IT.DID..very much.
She knew he’ll offer his apology..and she’ll eventually forgive him and when the burden will lift off his shoulder, he’ll expect the situation to be back to normal..but could the situation be ever back to normal..like the way it was before that night..or better say, like the way it should be keeping the terms n conditions of the contract in mind.Could she revert her yet unknown but strong feelings that had immensely showed their intensity in the past 10 days..Could she now stop looking forward to their morning breakfast sessions where she knew, he’ll lovingly peck her on the cheeks..or could she stop caring about him just cuz the terms are more clear in her mind.
NO..it will all make the situation even worse..more for her, if not for him..she need to keep him at bay..even if it meant using his tactics..she came out of her thoughts by the screeching sound of the SUV that came to a halt..it was then she noticed that they have reached the Raizada mansion already and he was still growling something on his earpiece.
Without waiting for him, she yanked open her side of the door quickly escaping form the car, opening the back side of the car, she was grabbing her bag when she felt his attention shifting from his phone to her and he growled at her,
“khushi wait “
It was no doubt that she heard him that too clearly but, she choose to not respond him anyway. grabbing her bag and slamming the door shut, a bit too loudly, she turned to make her way towards the main door passing through the gardens.
“Are you not listening to me..? i am talking to you khushi..? “
he shouted after her, or more precisely to her retreating back.
she bit her tongue between her teeth..obviously whatever the call was about, had definitely put him in a mood worse than before..business problems she guessed..and she felt bad for adding her own cents in it..but too eager to escape the awkward scenario that would have been created had she been lingering around him a while, she kept her pace not looking back, not paying hoots as to what he was saying and definitely pushing his buttons further up,which showed up by the curse that escaped his mouth and a load voice..as if he had punched something. She rolled her eyes,the way he’s punching today,she wont be surprise if she’ll found one or two dents on his fav SUV later on.
She increased her pace a bit aware of the need to be as far from him to be safe, totally aware of a pair of footsteps that were now following her quickly and the next instant she felt herself being yanked by her wrist and she came crashing down on a hard chest..she clutched his strong shoulders for balancing herself. It all took her by surprise, her bag now on the floor, his arms around her waist keeping her in place and she looked at him dreading to see the aftereffects of what she had just done and the look on his face, did not disappointing her a bit. His face was etched with fury,a wave of anger flash acrossed it.. his eyes were now blazing in pure rage n his nostril was flaring.
He pronounced through gritted teeths punctuating his each and every word,to make it more clear..as if they already were not. Each word of his was dripped in fury.
She looked at him dumbfoundedly, biting her lips in nervousness..her breath stucked in her throat, she just stood there staring at him while he obviously stared at her back in anger, impatiently waiting for her reply, her reasons and whatever patience that was left was waning off slowly..she knew she was treading on dangerous territory here, still she offered no explanation..which effectively raised his anger to another notch.
“You know I wanted to talk to you and you are purposely avoiding me since then..and dont you dare deny this fact”
He snaps at her, spitting his rage in form of his anger clutching her waist a bit tightly.
He loosened his grip instantly the moment she winced in slight pain n discomfort..but still keeping her in place..not ready to let her go yet this time.
She spit out a single word finally, her tone matching with his, darting her gaze away she tried yanking one of her wrist that was still in his grip.
SO? He stared at her in shock..he was here mentally boiling and all she has to explain was with a mere SO. What the..? nobody treats ASR like that and get away with that..This woman is not even ready to listen to him..his earlier irritation converted to boiling rage and he all but tightened his grip on her waist. Narrowing his eyes, he growls at her,
“DONT PUSH ME KHUSHI”
At his tone, she met his eyes fiercely, taking all his rage in, aware of his fingers digging in her flesh, his breath fanning her face, anger dissipating from his each and every pore, okay, he wants attention..so he’ll get it in his way only.
“FINE..Say what you want, get over with it and leave me then..”
Leaving her waist he clutched her shoulders this time, dragging her towards him more and spat the words in fury,
“I AM SORRY ..okay…DO YOU GET THAT..I dint…”
He was adding something more when she halted him midway, putting her free hand up..and let out a short sarcastic laugh.
” Let me tell you one thing Mr Raizada, seeking for someone’s apology is just not done by uttering this single word. Dont say it until n unless you feel it..dont say it according to your convenience and comfort..and specially DONT say it just to prove something to me or yourself..you cannot buy someone’s apology but can only earn it..you have to work for it..Say it only when you genuinely feel that your actions hurted someone and that you are ready to make amends for it..”
she said all the above looking into his eyes deeply and she knew it wasnt a facade anymore,which completely surprised herself..cuz it was genuinely what she wanted to tell him..He looked at her dumbfounddly..shock now itched over his face..wiping off all signs of rage, fury n anger.
She freed herself from his grip, rubbed her wrist, looked at him last time before picking up her bag and practically ran towards the door..leaving him deep deep in thoughts.